Funny Valentines Quotes Biography
Funny Valentine Quotes shine a 500 watt halogen on some of the things we need to say on Valentines Day and some things we should keep our distance. Choose from the following the phrases things you may want to say to your Valentine.
"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work."
‘I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.'
'My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.'
‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.’
‘If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?’
‘Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again somewhere down the road.’
’Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.’
‘Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.’
‘Friendship is one mind in two bodies.’
"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."
“Love is a game that two can play and both win.”
“When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.”
Natalie Clifford Barney
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
“Love is like war. Easy to begin with but hard to end”
‘All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt…’
Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts
’ Love is just a chocolate substitute.’
"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" Lily Tomlin
‘Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.’
‘I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.’
‘We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.’
‘My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.’
‘If you walk in front of me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you walk beside me, I will be your friend.’
‘You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.’
"Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too."
Joyce Carol Oates
’A kiss is an application on the top floor a job in the basement.’
‘Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.’
‘Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.’
Thomas Robert Dewar
'Women are cursed, and men are the proof.'
'Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.'
‘I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.’