Saturday 13 April 2013

Funny Quotes About Marriage About Life Love Birthday Sayings Pictures

Source(Google.com.pk)
Funny Quotes About Marriage Biography
“Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts”
-Jeff Foxworthy
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
-Groucho Marx
“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.” -H.V. Prochnow
“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson
"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.” -Unknown
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
-Rodney Dangerfield
“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.” -Minnie Pearl
"Behind every great man there is a surprised woman."
-Maryon Pearson
“They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” -Mae West
“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.” -H.L. Mencken
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield
“No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.” -H.L. Mencken
“A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.” -Grace Hansen
“If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.”
-Lawrence Housman
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women." -Marion Smith
“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?” -Barbra Streisand
“My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.” -Armistead Maupin
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." -Erma Bombeck
“I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.” -Lewis Grizzard
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran
“All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” -Raymond Hull
“The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.” -Bertrand Russell
"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted"
-Helen Rowland
"Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give." -Cass Daley
“Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.” -Elbert Hubbard
"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open." -Groucho Marx
*“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.”
-Henny Youngman
“When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.” -Prince Philip
"I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid." -Dorothy Parker
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage
Funny Quotes About Marriage

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