Source(Google.com.pk)
Funny Quote Of The Day Biography
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Steven Wright
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright
Funny Quote Of The Day Biography
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Steven Wright
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Steven Wright
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
Steven Wright
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
Funny Quote Of The Day
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