Funny Quotes: March 2013

Sunday, 31 March 2013

Funny Jokes And Quotes About Life Love Birthday Sayings Pictures

Source(Google.com.pk)
Funny Jokes And Quotes Biography
Funny Comeback
My friend: Your dick is probaly like a tic tac
Me: No wonder your moms mouth is so fresh
Class: OOOOHHHHHH!!!
Funny Comeback
Guy1: Your zipper is down.
Guy2: Ughh, your mom is so forgetful !
Funny Joke
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house
A couple is driving
Cop:Sir, you realize that you were speeding.
Husband:Im sorry officer, I didnt know.
Wife: What the hell, thats a lie Ive been telling you for miles!!
Husband:Shut up!! Shut the f*ck up!!No one is talking to you!!
Cop: Ok then, did you know that your license plate was expired?
Husband:No Officer, I didnt know.
Wife:NO!!! Ive been telling you for months!!
Husband:Shut the hell up BITCH nobody's talking to you!!!*cop walks over to the wife's side and says*
Cop: mam, does he always talk to you this way?
Wife:No. only when he's drunk.
Funny Joke
Things I never learned in High School:
1) how to do taxes
2) anything to do with banking
3) how to do loans for college
4) how to buy a car / house
5) how to jump start a car
but I'm so glad I know the f*cking Pythagorean Theorem.
Funny Joke
There was a white guy, a Mexican guy, and a black guy. All three of them bring something from their country that they have too much of. All three of them climb the Eiffel tower. The Mexican brings tacos and says, "We have to many of these in our country and throws the tacos off the Eiffel Tower". Next, the black guy brings weed and says, "We have to much of this in our country and throws them off the tower." Next, the white guy pushes the Mexican and the black guy off the Eiffel tower and says, "We have to many of those in our country."

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Jokes And Quotes

Funny Quotes About Life About Life Love Birthday Sayings Pictures

Source(Google.com.pk)
Funny Quotes About Life Biography

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'
"Eleven Hints for Life"
1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.
3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.
5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.
6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.
7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.
8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.
9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.
10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.
11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Really Funny Quotes About Life Love Birthday Sayings Pictures

Source(Google.com.pk)
Really Funny Quotes Biography
I have friends who are great joke-tellers. They time their lines perfectly. But, "joke delivery" was never my cup of tea. I excel in sharing cute funny quotes. And somehow, it seems to get my listeners' funny bone. You can also work on being a funny person by using some cute funny quotes. Start with this page of funny quotes.
Barry Goldwater
I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.
Roger Kahn
I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.
Robert Paul
My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.
Miguel de Unamuno
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
Alexander Woollcott
All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Ron Nesen
Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
Jay Leno
Don't forget Mother's Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Tom Snyder
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?
Benjamin Franklin
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
Anonymous
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Confidence: wear it like make-up!
Stop planning your life, and let it plan itself. Quit trying to find the perfect boy & let him find you. If you dont want drama then dont talk ****. Things are only as complicated as you make them..
she was the kind of girl that never let the guys get the best of her, that didn’t fall in love easily, until that one guy came along
It’s not cause I don’t like you, it’s just that I’m scared of loving and losing
she’s not perfect, & neither is he
but together, they just might be
& most of all;
i’m scared of not being
good enough.

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Friday, 29 March 2013

Free Funny Quotes About Life Love Birthday Sayings Pictures

Source(Google.com.pk)
Free Funny Quotes Biography
Kindly enjoy cool funny sayings and quotes ..
Hope is a good thing - maybe the best thing, and no good thing ever dies
You can't deny laughter, when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. -Stephen King
Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman - Anonymous
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know i am hilarious. - Anonymous
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Its just that yours is stupid.
When i am reading book and someone asks what i am reading, i never answer them. I just hold up the cover for them. - Anonymous
I would retaliate against your snotty remarks, but since you resemble a garden gnome, i would say the joke is on you.
If you're not good santa doesn't bring you many presents. Like, if you kill someone - that's pretty bad. Then you only get a yayo.
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, Man, that was fun.
A guy make s a woman come, it is a talent.. A woman makes a guy come, its a standard.
I am not telling you its going to be easy, i am telling you its going to be worth it.
Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
Dependant yes, But also deductible.
Its all good except for poo poo. (Kids sayings) - Delia
Smile don’t frown Look up don’t look down Believe in yourself Don’t let yourself go Just be who you are And let your live flow.
I’m not a fighter. I usually smile and then go into my room and cry my eyes out.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
A smile confuses an approaching frown.
You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
If you’re not using your smile, you’re like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.
Even if I am in a bad mood I have to smile and be nice to the fans.
A smile is a language that even a baby understands.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
A girl you proposed, saying I am not a good girl for you, you can find a nice girl better than me is like An IPHONE seller saying you can find China mobile better than IPHONE.

Free Funny Quotes